Category: Mothering

good mother myth, IFS, lived experiences, Mothering, reflections, Self-care

To the bone-thin kin of starved women inside us 🐺

aleksandrastaneva

To my kin with tired bones. Women who have carried too much for too long, listen. There are seasons when the she-wolf is hunted, exhausted, bones showing through her fur. She runs for years, giving milk when she has none, hunting with empty belly, guarding pups in a storm. Many women live decades like this.… Continue reading To the bone-thin kin of starved women inside us 🐺

good mother myth, Mothering, reflections, therapy, Uncategorized

When Mothers Kill: A Feminist Reflection on the Silence Around Women’s Suffering

aleksandrastaneva

When I heard about the Queensland mother suspected (and confirmed) of killing her three children in a house fire today, I felt gripped in a way I can’t quite explain. My stomach turned. My mind resisted the details. And yet, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Not because I wanted to know the story -… Continue reading When Mothers Kill: A Feminist Reflection on the Silence Around Women’s Suffering

good mother myth, IFS, lived experiences, Mothering, reflections, therapy

On Maternal Envy

aleksandrastaneva

I used to see them. I still see them. The Mothers. The ones who seem effortlessly composed, whose kids adore them, whose homes radiate warmth, whose careers thrive without chaos. I watch, and something sharp stirs in me- envy. Melanie Klein would call it a primitive force, a part of me that feels deprived, believing… Continue reading On Maternal Envy

About me, good mother myth, IFS, lived experiences, Mothering

Let him fly (on mothering a teen)

aleksandrastaneva

I spent years thinking I had control, over outcomes, over my own survival, over my child’s path. But nothing humbles you faster than raising a 16-year-old young man. There’s a shift happening. He’s making his own choices, testing his own limits, and I can’t hold the reins the way I once did. My old instincts,hyper-independence,… Continue reading Let him fly (on mothering a teen)

good mother myth, IFS, lived experiences, Mothering, reflections

Raising a teen boy is hard, also it is totally awesome

aleksandrastaneva

My cacao’s message - Relating and togetherness is at the core of all (what I see here is my son and myself sitting on the ocean shore and having one of those unplanned for deep conversations, and his body is as big as mine usually but I love to see him little, just like in… Continue reading Raising a teen boy is hard, also it is totally awesome

good mother myth, lived experiences, Mothering

Ah another Mother’s day

aleksandrastaneva

Ah Mother’s Day! Every year, as I lay quietly in my bed way before the boys are up to ‘surprise me’, I ponder about the journey it’s been. The word journey doesn’t seem to cut it though…more of an abrupt end of one journey…into something inexplicable. It’s my 15th year into the inexplicable. It’s my… Continue reading Ah another Mother’s day

About me, good mother myth, inner child, lived experiences, Mothering, nature, Self-care, therapy

The “perfect family day”

aleksandrastaneva

Here’s the thing about expectations…I look like I am about to make a really meaningful post about life and parenting and finding the silver lining in shitty situations BUT …. (With the risk of sounding really ozzie) yeah nah! I planned ‘the perfect day’ for our little family of 3, which lately feels like a… Continue reading The “perfect family day”

good mother myth, IFS, lived experiences, Mothering, therapy, Uncategorized

Self-led Parenting

aleksandrastaneva

Parenting is a tough gig. It’s something that stays forever, and the rewards come in rather unexpected ways, and with a huge delay sometimes. Parenting can also bring to the surface unexplained amounts of shame, guilt, and self-doubt. Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy has been a greatly helpful approach in healing layers of shame and… Continue reading Self-led Parenting