lived experiences, Mothering, Self-care, therapy

Radical Self-Compassion for Mothers

When we judge ourselves, we judge others…

When we are convinced we are selfish, we are inclined to suspect the same of others.

If we hate those parts of us that are needy, we may feel disgusted, repelled and frightened by the neediness in others.

If we feel we are failing, we may look for signs of failure in those we are close to…

Our negative self-beliefs become a powerful lens that shapes our experience of others.

As Nietzsche said “The snake that cannot shed its skin perishes”

Stepping out of our old skins and our negative ways of perceiving our self and others offers us a clean and fresh view of reality. As it is.

Reality as it is…

RAIN practice is a Buddhist informed approach to learning to love ourselves and our world.


I’m training (always training) in using this deeply self nurturing and self compassionate approach called RAIN to both myself, the people I love and the mothers and women I work with.

I have found it incredibly helpful to cultivate SELF-COMPASSION for new mums who struggle with negative self-perceptions and distress.

RAIN is a technique that I have learnt from Tara Brach, a Clinical Psychologist and most importantly a Buddhist Teacher who I admire tremendously. When applied to the perinatal space and in my work with mothers who experience postnatal depression, it requires a supportive hand that holds a woman through the…

⭕️Recognition of imperfections, not-good-enoughness, the loss of identity, and whatever needs healing at that moment.

⭕️It then takes a mother through, what I find the hardest for mums-acceptance! Acknowledgement and acceptance of the new Motherself and seeing it all in its glory of emotions.

⭕️The next step, Investigation, goes straight to the body and asks the important questions of exploring areas of the body that feel the pain the most. This again can be quite challenging and triggering for new mums who have gone through the transformations of pregnancy and birth and the toll this has taken on their body. Going gently once again and providing the safe space for the process to unfold organically, is key!

⭕️The final step is the Nurturing. This process takes a lifetime but it begins with a few simple steps of self-care and of looking deep inside for the Motherself that is always there, that nurtures from within. In Buddhist traditions there is the belief that we all cary a gem deep inside that is unscratchable. That no amount of pain and external storms can ever touch. This is the Boddhichita that we need to nurture and go back to as the most Nurturing centre. It provides the strength and affirmation that we can do this, that no matter what there is hope.

🌹Join my HORÓ Counselling and get in touch if you are interested in trying RAIN with me.

#postnataldepression #motherhood #buddhism #maternalmentalhealth #pnd #tarabrach #mindfulness #raintechnique #Buddhistpsychology

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