About me, good mother myth, inner child, lived experiences, Mothering, nature, Self-care, therapy

The “perfect family day”

Here’s the thing about expectations…I look like I am about to make a really meaningful post about life and parenting and finding the silver lining in shitty situations BUT …. (With the risk of sounding really ozzie) yeah nah!

I planned ‘the perfect day’ for our little family of 3, which lately feels like a family of 2+1 and a cat that attaches himself to whoever has the treats…so here’s the plan – no devices, a drive up my favorite mountain listening to music or stories from the Moth radio hour – a family favorite (that was before the 2+1 division where the 1 never asked or needed his own headphones to do his thing) anyway… the plan continues with a luscious 2 hr walk we had recently discovered where we had found a koala 🐨 I know AMA-ZING! When we get to the waterfall there is a hidden flat rock where we can eat the sandwiches 🥪 I prepared with everyone’s preference in mind featuring my signature homemade pickled red onions (no, you are wrong, they are awesome!)

I had put on my, as the +1 referred to, ‘full on hiking gear’ including my fancy and super nerdy hiking hat, boots, and had ordered everyone around their perfect attire…the hike would surely be such a magical experience..We will talk, tell stories, tell silly jokes, these days they are mostly inappropriate, we will sensitively insert some deep parental wisdom, lessons about body image, consent, drug use, peer pressure, teens choices to hang out in shopping malls of all places, the importance of friendship, love, sex,what is the impact of AI in our future- YOU KNOW? All the things. All the things a parent wants to say but LIFE is in the F way, and rushing and phones, and appointments…ah the bliss this day will be!

Here’s what happened: drizzle began as we drove. We were too busy to acknowledge it because we were ferociously fighting over teen attitude, me inserting terrible remarks about everything +1 I dread he will become/do/risk. We arrive, and Parent 2 notes that the forecasts says NO rain for another 2 hrs, WHILE it is raining.

He gears up and nudges us to get going. We reluctantly follow. The mud begins from before the trail even starts. The drizzle increases, we continue, sulking, +1 cursing the ‘damn internet’, me – suggesting we stop 30 mins in as I am already quite wet (no raincoats of course).

We see lots of people rushing back to the car park. Saying more rain is coming. Nope. Not for another 2 hours HELLO?!?

Parent 1 (you guessed that’s me,of course) and +1 manage to use the force of moan and grunts and persuade Parent 2 that it is indeed time to return…

20 fast paced mins later we are back in the car. Muddy shoes in a bag, bare feet, we drive up to the local Cheese factory where we usually get Italian burrata from. HAHA!

The Original Grumpy Cat

We realized as we park that we are covered in leeches. And here’s the moment, where yours truly, the fearless therapist, the one supporting others with their phobias, loses her total shit! Everything happens in an intense slow motion black and white Horror movie where Parent 2 has left the car to pursue the said cheese and I am left with +1. In a huge turn of events, Parent 1, yes the parent! ME begins to scream 😱 as if the world is ending and +1 saves her life MY LIFE in the MOST AMAZING CARING KISSING WAY, WHERE HE KEEPS HOLDING MY FACE TELLING ME ITS OK ITS OK ITS OVER YOU ARE SAFE ITS GONE. Having taken a fat leech of my finger. All this while I am wearing only a white bra, in front of the local pub…

…we bleed for a long while, we drive home defeated, frazzled, easily scared; parent 1 who was actually possessed by childhood trauma, goes into her mind… does the things she knows she can do to support herself, apologizing and explaining to her son how grateful and amazed she is by his actions and tells him she should have been there for him and not the other way around to which he wisely says “It’s Ok, mum, this is not something you could control”… and I wanna cry cos he is so mature and big all of a sudden, and tell him he is allowed to go to the mall alone cos I Fucking trust that kid that he will be OK!

And the 3 of us eat our sandwiches on our kitchen table and don’t say much.

Here’s the silver lining. I just found it. The 3 of us united by a bad story.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s