“Maybe you didn’t give him enough love?” I have heard this. It ripped my heart in unbelievable ways… but it also started me on a journey of unpacking where did this come from? Why would mothers even consider shaming one another this way? What are the social conditions that would even make us go that… Continue reading On Maternal Self-blame
Author: aleksandrastaneva
I am a Mother, an academic, and a psychotherapist.
My work centers around women's health and women's studies and mental health, particularly maternal perinatal mental health, pregnancy, birth, trauma and postnatal depression; I also work in youth wellbeing and cancer projects;
I write books (for children and story-tales for grown ups) because I fully believe that stories carry an enormous transformative power!
"Stories are medicine" (C P Estes). I explore human connection, maternal mental issues (ante- and post-natal depression), feminism for boys and girls, fatherhood, gender diverse families and alternative approaches to health and healing.
I lead women's groups that explore various concepts around human connection, what it means to be a 21 century woman, and a mother through art, fairy-tales and archetypal work.
Both my work and life are grounded in feminism and social activism to progress environmental, anti-stigma and awareness-raising causes.
Welcome!
So have you heard of IFS yet?
✨✨✨Celebrating the BIG and SMALL victories! And this one feels huge! HORÓ Counselling has added a powerful tool to her (mine, that’s a bit weird) treasure chest of magic! In the last year and a half I have been training, and mastering my craft of healing, care, support, transformation and magic ✨ It has been… Continue reading So have you heard of IFS yet?
Lockdown Self-compassion
🖤Lockdown🖤Sitting with lots of Inner Activation. 💜Recognizing All that is present for my Inner world right now. All the discomfort. Disappointment. Disconnection. Dreams undone. The turmoil. Not trying to change it. Just giving it a name. A good label. Some air. 💜Allowing it All to be. Just as it is. Painful. Unfair. Hopeless. Raw. Triggering.… Continue reading Lockdown Self-compassion
On Daily Journaling as a ritual of inner witnessing
Engaging in a daily ritual of journaling is a way of taking responsibility for finding out who I AM. I regularly prescribe journaling to the women I see in my practice as a form of stepping into the journey of Self-knowing. Of self-awareness and building that Inner Witness, who tracks and observes, non-judgementally and quietly… Continue reading On Daily Journaling as a ritual of inner witnessing
Green sessions: Walk & Talk
“I only went out for a walk, and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.” John Muir The benefits of nature, movement, and connection are beyond description. When it comes to Nature there is no doubt about its impact on our wellbeing. Although we humans have… Continue reading Green sessions: Walk & Talk
Mothering during a pandemic – book chapter
📚 A brand new chapter!!! It is a part this epic collection On Mothering during a Pandemic. This chapter is dedicated to all the mamas I interviewed as part of my research role at Peach Tree Perinatal Wellness who shared with me the Good, the Bad and the Ugly! I took a small part of… Continue reading Mothering during a pandemic – book chapter
Motherhood and the Ivory tower of Academia
Mothers in Academia…oh what a topic! Riddled with controversy. This graduation day is a micro representation of the ambivalent emotions I felt all throughout my research work, starting in 2010 with my Master of Research in Psychology. My then 7 year old son on PhD graduation day My story sits outside of the “modern academic… Continue reading Motherhood and the Ivory tower of Academia
on Making our own traditions: Easter
The mismatch and the discrepancy, and the consumerism around Hallmark rabbits with ribbons and (?) chocolate insanity (with all its waste of aluminum and sugar highs) as well as the arrival of autumn 🍂 here in the Southern Hemisphere, are clearly NOT in the way of celebrating Easter here in Australia - essentially a Northern… Continue reading on Making our own traditions: Easter
On Parts Work (IFS, Internal Family Systems)
When we incorporate Parts Work into our everyday language we can begin to see and experience challenges differently. Instead of: 🖤 “I am such an angry mother” try♥️ “A part of me is feeling very angry towards…”(and listen to all that Angry Part has to show you about your unmet needs) Instead of: 🖤”I feel… Continue reading On Parts Work (IFS, Internal Family Systems)
On rituals
I have been digging deep into Ritual work and gathering more and more evidence on the profound role ritual plays in our lives. Ritual is any gesture done with intention and with emotion. And the effects, when ritual is done from the heart and is well contained and held by a trusted and safe other,… Continue reading On rituals
