Becoming a MOTHER opens up deeply rooted wounds. Wounds and pain we thought we had “worked through” and processed successfully.
All of sudden we wake up into our own ambivalence, confused emotions, broken fantasies about the Mother we thought we would be.
Have we mourned enough our own story? Our own parenting wounding?
Children who are intelligent, alert, attentive, sensitive, and completely attuned to their Mother’s wellbeing are entirely at her disposal.
Transparent, clear, amd reliable they are incredibly easy to manipulate, puppeteer and control.
“Will do anything that mummy needs me to. Will cater to HER needs. This will ensure mummy’s love for me. It will also give MY life a meaning”
It will also, unfortunately…keep my locked inside an unconscious glasshouse. 💔
As long as their true self, their deeper emotional inner world remains “in the cellar of the glasshouse” in which they have to live, such children will not be able to access their own emotions, or trust their own experience, sense of self or ability to Mother.
Alice Miller suggests that those children usually live stuck inside there, sometimes until puberty or until they come to therapy, and very often until they have become parents themselves.
How do you project your own Unmothered parts onto your children?