Period-care. Day 1. The rant. Had lunch by caring hubby, engaged in Netlix overdose, about 17 hot water bottles, and lots of cat-time. And here come the deep thoughts…
Early Motherhood. I used to dread being inactive and in bed, with illness, period or the deadly migraines that are my lifelong companions, when I first had my baby.
It was not only logistically impossible but my mind could not even go that way…Who will look after the baby?!
Dragging my morphine corpse around the stairs and using only the quiet toys, mimicking a smile and preparing the baby bath, while mentally working out how the ambulance finds me unconscious but praising my motherly skills of ensuring my child has had his afternoon apple slices.
Constructing social narratives around what’s ok and allowed to do for mothers, what the Musts and Shoulds are…and the absolutely Forbiddens, is just that – someone’s opinion. A whole bunch of healthy , non-menstruating someones at their prime who sat down and came up with the Rules of Motherhood.
Breaking away from social norms though sometimes turns you into the outcast. Yes, but a risk well worth. It has an added bonus of getting rid of not-that-great friends too.
Only after questioning “WHY should it be this way?!” we can start figuring out and carving our own authentic way into the world.
I know now that fathers can also take care of babies and older children!
I know, shocking revelations, right!
So can grandmas, neighbors and trusted friends. This is how we are supposed to do Mothering. Together. So that when I am cramping or unable to shift even a degree away from my paralyzed migraine-ridden face, my heart can stay calm that the baby is OK.
See? Periods are blessings of profound women wisdom in between hot water bottle swaps and cleaning period stains from the white couch. You are welcome! #periodrant
Aleksandra Staneva, PhD 