At the centre of my work are MOTHERS on the margin. Dark Mothers, Mother Outcast, Mother-Rebels, Fluid Mothers, Un-pin-down-able Mothers.
Mothers, who experience depression.
Mothers, who feel ambivalent. Mothers, who regret it.
Mothers, who drink.
Mothers, who resent.
Mothers, who smoke during pregnancy.
Mothers, who career (that CAN be a verb, right – to career, to deem other interests alongside parenting).
Death Mothers, or the ones gripped by the Death Mother Complex.
Mothers who kill. I almost did postdoctoral studies on Mothers who kill (Luckily, I got to write and research about it – tba).
Mothers who get the scornful eye from everyone around them!
Mostly, misunderstood mothers…mothers, away from their wolf pack, away from their tribe.
The mystery of the Mother Archetype is endless, and there is a huge taboo about speaking about Motherhood in anything BUT the Glorification, and Over-domination of the Perfect Mother.
Mothers, who have anything BUT the glamorous representation of perfection, are given so very little air space.
So I have taken on the role to dismantle the over-inflated role of perfection on mothers. It’s oppressive! It’s serving no one, if anything – it is making Mothers give up, resent, deny this powerful force within. The one of thr Great Mother source.
In my research, I have seen how mothers who cannot position themselves on the perfection scales, because something did add up – be it a cesarean, inability to breastfeed, loosing their minds after 9 months of sleeplessness, being single, parenting a child with disability, you name it, and there is a mother who will feel the shameful punch in her stomach – all of these “sub-perfect” mothers engage is incredibly cruel Self-castigation and punishment.
They self-label as Bad, they have introjected the social norm and have used it as a weapon against their true authentic mother-Self.
There is a big threat though when mothers step outside of this narrative and claim their OWN state. Patriarchy hates empowered mothers. They refuse to follow the RULES.
When mothers set their own rules about how to mother, how to protect, how to care, how to embrace, hug, comfort and raise their children IN VIEW OF their own circumstances, this brings a collective unrest. But what about the RULES. The cryitout rules, the don’tcarryhimallday rules, the stayathome rules, the gobacktowork rules…
An empowered Mothers looks at her own circumstances. She ponders. Researches. She studies. Wants to know. She seeks support. She admits that her circumstances are what they are. And then makes choices.
And these circumstances are both internal, but also external – these are the higher level constructs that are in place that pre-determine how we function in the world. Such as safe spaces, safe roof over our heads, support, basic income, legislations that support a woman to mother and to career without having to sacrifice and go into an Either/Or mode.
The internal barriers barriers though Oh well, that is a whole other story!
It has to do with facing our own Shadow, our own Mother Wound.
The pain of:
Are you curious to know more?
Are you ready to face the Mother Wound within your self?
Watch that space, and also get in touch for some much needed journey of healing, of working with your own internalized Death Mother.