My partner took this image of me when we snuck in a coffee together before work and right after doing the school drop off. It felt big for many reasons. Both personal and collective.
I have been in and out of the Covid vortex and the exhaustion felt too real. In my bones. The fear, anxiety, worry for loved ones and for the shift the world is undergoing. Shifts that challenge freedom but also life and death and construction of illness…I have been trying to make sense of it all to no avail. The grief of lost potential is big though.
I am booked to sit with La Maestra, La Que Sabe, the one who knows – Clarissa Pinkola Estés for the upcoming weekend. The loss of connection and mentoring feels deep but I can dive within myself and actually see her inside and converse with her – receiving everything I need. That’s how strong her presence is within me. The big introjection that actually serves me well! Do you know what I mean?? Is there an introjected internalized mentor that you carry in your heart?
Other huge personal shifts are also happening in a rapid succession. Am I ready? The universe forgot to check in with my readiness I guess.
Can I sit with it? Who am I now? Who was I yesterday…literally. Big questions of identity as I respond to change. And as I reflect on the last 8 years of my life here, in this strange land (yesterday we marked our Australian anniversary 🌟) I sit with it.
There is a lot.
I recognize and allow it all to be exactly as it is.
This belongs…this belongs…hold tight, dear heart!
with love,
Aleks
Aleksandra Staneva, PhD 