A frequent friend that visits my Counselling practice is Anger. It is always unwelcome, feared, dreaded, or exiled. And of course Anger does not appreciate its closeted state. It rumbles and tumbles. It scratches and escapes at the most unexpected situations. It can be explosive, hurtful and dangerous, especially to more vulnerable parts of ourselves,… Continue reading Befriending Anger
Category: therapy
Adult attachment styles
How those early ways of connection with a significant other were set up, continuously affects our adult relationships. The attachment style you developed as a child based on your relationship with a parent or early caretaker doesn’t have to define your ways of relating to those you love in your adult life. Although knowing it… Continue reading Adult attachment styles
The essence of emotional holding
People ask me how I work. The easy answer is that I hold. I hold space. I hold tight. Her Resistance. Her intense polarization. The pull between extremes. Her Ambivalence. Her Deep longing. Her Trauma. Her “I wish she loved me more”. Her “How can I ever forgive?” Her “I am ready!”. Her laughter, her… Continue reading The essence of emotional holding
Podcast: the Soul-Work of Mothering
Fancy that! I was on a podcast with Dr Sophie Brock - The Good Enough Mother, where we had the best chat about: • mothering as Soul Work • Mother Wound and the legacy trauma • Death Mother Complex • Dream analysis • Inner child work • Morning pages All things Feminine: the caring, wild… Continue reading Podcast: the Soul-Work of Mothering
Defenses against early abandonment
All of us, but certainly in different degrees, have abandoned parts. Abandoned inner parts which have been ignored, rejected or abused when we we little.Children though come up with the most ingenious defenses against abandonment, which are usually deeply unconscious. 🖤 Denial - a common one. This never happened to me. Life was awesome. I… Continue reading Defenses against early abandonment
Dream Work
I started working with my Dreams in my early 20s - 2000-2001, when I began my Psychoanalytic training as part of my Psychology degree in Bulgaria. I remember the trepidation, self-awareness, and tingle with which we started each session. Those were group discussions on Classical Freudian Psychoanalytic Dream analysis. We gathered weekly for 2 years… Continue reading Dream Work
Inner un-rose-ing
I attended a gorgeously connecting women ritual as part of welcoming the Winter Solstice here in Australia on June 21st. We all created a flower mandala, slowly and patiently working in silence. As I was arranging my little piece. I was slowly unwrapping these rose petals, and reflecting...on how this was a very similar process… Continue reading Inner un-rose-ing
On intuition and its retrieval
♥️On Intuition ♥️This innate system that allows us to know, to truly KNOW! It’s our 6th sense that doesn’t fail us. It’s our best compass, inner wise Self. It exists on very little and it needs some trust, fanning and care. Some breath! Severed intuition does not work properly. It is an injured instinct that… Continue reading On intuition and its retrieval
On the unconscious manipulation of our children
Becoming a MOTHER opens up deeply rooted wounds. Wounds and pain we thought we had “worked through” and processed successfully. All of sudden we wake up into our own ambivalence, confused emotions, broken fantasies about the Mother we thought we would be. Have we mourned enough our own story? Our own parenting wounding? Children who… Continue reading On the unconscious manipulation of our children
I can rage when you hurt me, without losing you?
👧🏻 Inner child 👧🏻Reflecting on my own search of true self, you know…just a gentle weekend task of light existential dread…that those of us engage in on a regular basis (overintellualizing and its functions is part of what this post will be about, so bear with me). As Alice Miller, a great Psychoanalyst, shares her… Continue reading I can rage when you hurt me, without losing you?
Aleksandra Staneva, PhD - Internal Family Systems & Jung 