Tag: Mothering

About me, Mothering, Self-care

On Mothering without the Village

aleksandrastaneva

The horror of COVID 19 for our family was not about getting infected and not making it, or losing work that much, or closing my practice. It wasn’t about missing our families in Europe and saying goodbye to another year that we couldn’t go back to visit…It wasn’t about dreading the homeschooling and being stuck… Continue reading On Mothering without the Village

good mother myth, lived experiences, Mothering, Publications, research

Parenting during a Pandemic

aleksandrastaneva

As part of my research work at Peach Tree Perinatal Wellness 🍑🧡 I have been investigating the impact of COVID-19 on mothers. I got to speak with some Super Women whose stories of incredible resourcefulness while on the brink of mental collapse were just hm..how do I put it - otherworldly! Pregnancy, birthing and early… Continue reading Parenting during a Pandemic

Mothering, therapy

On the unconscious manipulation of our children

aleksandrastaneva

Becoming a MOTHER opens up deeply rooted wounds. Wounds and pain we thought we had “worked through” and processed successfully. All of sudden we wake up into our own ambivalence, confused emotions, broken fantasies about the Mother we thought we would be. Have we mourned enough our own story? Our own parenting wounding? Children who… Continue reading On the unconscious manipulation of our children

inner child, Mothering, therapy

I can rage when you hurt me, without losing you?

aleksandrastaneva

👧🏻 Inner child 👧🏻Reflecting on my own search of true self, you know…just a gentle weekend task of light existential dread…that those of us engage in on a regular basis (overintellualizing and its functions is part of what this post will be about, so bear with me). As Alice Miller, a great Psychoanalyst, shares her… Continue reading I can rage when you hurt me, without losing you?

lived experiences, Mothering

The reproduction of the Black Mother stereotype.

aleksandrastaneva

When I became a new mum I lived in America. At the time a friend of mine had also just had her second baby. She was Black. I don’t remember ever considering that fact. Until one afternoon. We used to go to a local playground together-buzzing with bubbas and mummas from all races, ages and… Continue reading The reproduction of the Black Mother stereotype.

good mother myth, inner child, Lists, lived experiences, Mothering, research, therapy

Parenting well when you haven’t been well parented?

aleksandrastaneva

Parenting well when you haven’t been well parented? • Manage your own “baggage” ensuring it doesn’t spill over and pollute your children’s lives. This is usually an unconscious process so waking up to our baggage is a much needed step in our toolbox of care. • Reduce the amount of chronic unpredictable toxic stress in… Continue reading Parenting well when you haven’t been well parented?

Mothering, therapy

MotherWound

aleksandrastaneva

At the centre of my work are MOTHERS on the margin. Dark Mothers, Mother Outcast, Mother-Rebels, Fluid Mothers, Un-pin-down-able Mothers. Mothers, who experience depression. Mothers, who feel ambivalent. Mothers, who regret it. Mothers, who drink. Mothers, who resent. Mothers, who smoke during pregnancy. Mothers, who career (that CAN be a verb, right - to career,… Continue reading MotherWound

About me, good mother myth, IFS, inner child, Lists, lived experiences, Mothering, research, therapy

Motherhood: my hardest quest and my best guide on self-awareness

aleksandrastaneva

It’s about 12 years ago, during my pregnancy, when I remember engaging with my parenting model for the first time, from a much different perspective. I was full of questions about my own way of parening. Who would I be in a few months? I remember filling journal pages with the Mother I saw my… Continue reading Motherhood: my hardest quest and my best guide on self-awareness

Dreams, good mother myth, lived experiences, Mothering, Publications, research

Womb studies

aleksandrastaneva

I first explored Raphael-Leff’s theory on Maternal styles (Regulators, Facilitators, Reciprocators, Conflicted) for my Masters thesis in Manchester Uni on Maternal Expectations vs Maternal Reality (and then I looked into the links between these styles and birth complications as part of my Doctorate). It was an exceptional journey of theory, practice and self discovery. I… Continue reading Womb studies

good mother myth, inner child, Lists, lived experiences, Mothering, Publications, research, Self-care, therapy, workshops

Perfect Pregnant Woman, deconstructed

aleksandrastaneva

One of my favorite academic publications, that came out of my doctoral studies on women who experience psychological distress during their pregnancy, is the one on "Unspeakability". Un-speak-ability. This is a concept which highlights the inability for women to "speak" directly about their distress or about anything dark, depressive, problematic, scary or non-perfect in relation… Continue reading Perfect Pregnant Woman, deconstructed