When we incorporate Parts Work into our everyday language we can begin to see and experience challenges differently.
Instead of:
🖤 “I am such an angry mother” try
♥️ “A part of me is feeling very angry towards…”(and listen to all that Angry Part has to show you about your unmet needs)
Instead of:
🖤”I feel so numb. I dissociate when I feel triggered.” Try:
♥️ “ A part of me feels numb and dissociates. It is trying to keep me safe by leaving/pushing triggers out of awareness”
Instead of:
🖤”I always need to be in control!” Try:
♥️ “A part of me requires that I keep things (others) under control to ensure suffering is out of awareness, and that I feel safe”
Parts form early in life, and usually as a form of protective coping strategy. They helped us adapt. It worked back then. It served its protective purpose.
However, Parts continue to operate this way.
They try, sometimes desperately, to keep us safe and distanced from unacceptable emotions.
The problem is when they keep us away from things, experiences and people who are good for us. In the ‘here and now’. Today. And they need to be updated about what’s working and what is no longer serving us. Because today, as Adults, we can handle things differently. We have tools, skills, resources and a range if experiences that have thought us a lot about coping.
IFS, Internal Family Systems, or Parts Work, deals with that system update. This is one of its main functions, amongst a lot of work related to re-writing our own story from the here and now, from the point of this capable Adult. From the point of the Wise Self.
It also supports us to beautifully revisit our story, witness, unburden and re-parent some hurt, vulnerable and misunderstood exiled younger parts within.
HORÓ Counselling offers IFS work. It’s a model I absolutely love and see time and time again its powerful impact on clients.
If this speaks to you and you are curious about getting to approach your Self differently, get in touch.
with love.
Aleks
horoforwomen@gmail.com
Aleksandra Staneva, PhD 