My husband teaching our son how to 🧵 sew! I always thought I would naturally be the one who teaches these “softer” skills while men in my son’s life would be the ones to pass on the hard ones. Wrong! This is how we change outdated traditionalist beliefs that boys should not bother with skills… Continue reading Boys to men, and the mending of souls
Author: aleksandrastaneva
Befriending Anger
A frequent friend that visits my Counselling practice is Anger. It is always unwelcome, feared, dreaded, or exiled. And of course Anger does not appreciate its closeted state. It rumbles and tumbles. It scratches and escapes at the most unexpected situations. It can be explosive, hurtful and dangerous, especially to more vulnerable parts of ourselves,… Continue reading Befriending Anger
Addiction and disconnection
My son asked me this morning “What comes to your mind when you hear the word addiction?” Well… disconnection, I said, and my heart sunk a bit deeper. We have been talking A LOT about gaming and screen time in the last year. Like a lot! It has taken us so much energy to even… Continue reading Addiction and disconnection
Adult attachment styles
How those early ways of connection with a significant other were set up, continuously affects our adult relationships. The attachment style you developed as a child based on your relationship with a parent or early caretaker doesn’t have to define your ways of relating to those you love in your adult life. Although knowing it… Continue reading Adult attachment styles
Boys and the need for the Feminine
The men of the next generation who need to be sensitive, expressive, nonviolent, respectful, assertive and loving of women… The role of parents and MOTHERS today is big, heavy with responsibility. Especially when it sits outside of the traditional way to bring up boys who are tough, macho, sportsy, with accepted “boys will be boys”… Continue reading Boys and the need for the Feminine
On mothers and sons
Early days of my pregnancy, I was hoping for a daughter. I believed that with a girl-child, I could connect more, pass on the feminine wisdom, do all things that we women do, teach her about how the body works, what love feels like, how to hold the needles and the knife, how to write… Continue reading On mothers and sons
On Maternal Ambivalence
Some reflections on one the most contentious topics when it comes to motherhood, in the form of plaques. 🌹 with love, Aleks
Let’s talk hormones
Let’s talk hormones during the critical times for women: • post partum • menopause • pre-menstrual You don’t hear me go about these too much and there are reasons for this, some of them: ✔️Women’s mental health has been historically labeled and dismissed as “hormonal” and “hysteric”✔️Postnatal depression has been overwhelmingly researched through the Biomedical… Continue reading Let’s talk hormones
The essence of emotional holding
People ask me how I work. The easy answer is that I hold. I hold space. I hold tight. Her Resistance. Her intense polarization. The pull between extremes. Her Ambivalence. Her Deep longing. Her Trauma. Her “I wish she loved me more”. Her “How can I ever forgive?” Her “I am ready!”. Her laughter, her… Continue reading The essence of emotional holding
Podcast: the Soul-Work of Mothering
Fancy that! I was on a podcast with Dr Sophie Brock - The Good Enough Mother, where we had the best chat about: • mothering as Soul Work • Mother Wound and the legacy trauma • Death Mother Complex • Dream analysis • Inner child work • Morning pages All things Feminine: the caring, wild… Continue reading Podcast: the Soul-Work of Mothering