Gratitude Challenge @horocounselling #horogratitude
Day 22. The inner core. The Wise Inner Self.
It is really hard to be grateful about anything today. Really really hard. My grandfather tested positive for Covid after 2 negative tests. He is now in hospital with complications. My grandma, the apple of his eye, is slowly declining with Alzheimer and it is hard for everyone to see her, to remember her…My mum, who was unwell too is on the mend and taking care of them. It’s all so very chaotic and there are extreme parts in me that want to smuggle into the next flight and go there and save everyone. These are my superwoman cape-wearing parts. They feel so familiar. Their capes are a little worn out. They have some wrinkles around the eyes. Yet they feel like We have to do everything! We have to help. We have to save the day. Organize care. Buy and prepare medicine. Stock the fridge. Juice celery. Cook nettle. Apply salves. Sanitize.
Yet I cannot do any of these. Here’s where my wiser Self steps in.
The Inner S E L F.
It’s Calm. In the mids of chaos, calamity and helplessness it exerts a soft calming energy. It glows in me and reassures me gently. “Breathe, love, just breathe.”
It’s Compassionate. It feels for everyone back home. For my aching family. For my best friends and their families. For the world. It also sends compassion to my own scared inner parts. It speaks gently like an old grandma caressing my hair. “There there… little one. We all go through this. It will be ok. All will be well.”
It’s Clear. It knows with clarity how I feel. It allows the fog and haze of emotions to lift so that I can face them the way they are. “This makes sense. Ok. Let’s keep going. You’ve got this.”
It’s Curious. Curious about the darker corners of my psyche, of my mind and of my heart. “I wonder what this means? I wonder why I responded this way? Can I approach this with curiosity?” Curiosity allows me to sit with all my feelings in a spacious and present way. It gives me breath-ability. It doesn’t make me hide and run from discomfort.
The S E L F.
It’s Creative. It supports me in an artistic and crafty manner. “You can do this that way, there are always solutions. Everything is Figureoutable” it says. “Just take a look from here! See!” I love this aspect of the Self. And I love how we humans have it all and when people around me are in Self I sense their own creative solutions and this is when we become one pulsing whole, rigged with solutions!
It’s Courageous. It’s brave. It says “You got this. Go for it.” It does away with fear. With keeping small. With staying on the sides observing life happening to me. It gets me right there in the game. In the arena! Thanks Brené Brown.
It’s Confident. It knows that whatever I do from Self is the best for me. At that time. With those resources. In that context. No regrets. No confusion. Full confidence in my ability to cope with whatever life throws at me. Thank you, Self! I owe you my career. My pursuit of happiness.
It’s Connected. This allows me to feel all my Parts. The superwoman ones, the helpless ones, the scared and the hopeful ones. I see them. I know them. I let them be. I reassure them that the SELF is in charge. This aspect of the Self also allows me to be connected to others. To their story, to their emotions. Rather than protectively run in a cave and shut down, I can be here. It’s ok. It’s safe and my heart is open.
It’s hard to find the Gratitude on some days. But only on the surface. Deep inside, especially for those simple basic things, it’s always there.
This is why I called this the Gratitude Challenge! It is a challenge sometimes…but we can turn inwards and it will be there. The wiser golden nugget. Our own SELF.